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New York Film Academy: The Experience of a Lifetime

New York Film Academy — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 18:47:00 GMT

Do you have a passion for Filmmaking or Acting?

Do you want to break into Hollywood but have little experience?

Then you need to get yourself on the right path to becoming the next great Filmmaker, Director, Producer or Actor.

A Film and Acting School such as the New York Film Academy helps every student get a taste of this fast-paced industry. You will eat, sleep, breathe filmmaking or acting, while attending outstanding guest lectures and receive intensive training in your desired field.

The New York Film Academy offers an unprecedented learning opportunity for students all over the world to learn the ins and outs of Filmmaking, Acting for Film, Producing, Animation, Photography, Cinematography, Game Design, Musical Theatre, Documentary, Broadcasting, Editing and Screenwriting. Students are instantaneously immersed in the intensive, hands-on programs and work directly with reputable faculty and professionals to further enhance their knowledge and experience. Class schedules are rigorous but grant students the opportunity to learn by doing and challenge themselves each day.

New York City and Los Angeles are two extraordinary cities that offer inseparable ties to the film industry. The New York Film Academy, Los Angeles campus is located right in the heart of the film industry and enables students access to the Universal Studios backlot. Participants in our workshops are anything but limited and are encouraged to take advantage of all of the attractions within Los Angeles, especially the incredibly varied landscape from seaside to desert to mountain slope and fruit grave. NYFA's LA Film School is guaranteed to inspire students to develop their ideas and turn visions into films.

New York Film Academy is proud to have educated the sons and daughters of Hollywood luminaries like Steven Spielberg, Martin Scorsese, Al Pacino, Robert Downy Jr., Jamie Foxx, Jodie Foster, Kevin Kline, Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon and others.

To inquire about your program of choice, CLICK HERE to request more information.

SUMMAH LOVIN'

Brittany — Tue, 07 Aug 2012 23:17:00 GMT

That title. I know. I'm the worst.

But you know what was the opposite of the worst? Summahfest 2012 at Meltdown Inc on Sunset Blvd. An all day-ish comedy party dedicated to all things Summah.

Summahfest 2012
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

First, some back story. A prologue, if you will. At the very least, an explanation of my dedication and fervor to and for Meltdown Inc. and their various productions. I am a fan. Correction: I am a Fan. A professional obsesser. Capital 'F' Fan. Over my short life (in the grand and baby[1] scale of things) I have "fan-girled [2]" over: Star Wars, Star Trek [3], Lord of the Rings, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly, Harry Potter, Dune (both the books and the amazingly hilarious and terrifying David Lynch film) and countless other sci-fi, fantasy and comic franchises [4]. In these instances my displays of adoration were limited to countless repeat readings/viewings and the occasional dressing up for a midnight premiere. And then my friend took me to a midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, complete with shadow cast (when people perform the movie in front of the movie - like a physical interpretation of the definition of "meta" [5].) I had seen the movie before, but this. This was like church. I was like a born again Christian at an evangelical service in Texas. I laughed, cried, shouted, threw rice, learned the call back lines and did the dances. Plus, drag queens. [6] It's simultaneously a sacred space where you are encouraged to "come as you are" (and be whatever you want) and a place for dirty old men to ogle under age adolescents. [7] I was hooked. My Fan-Ladyness evolved. I joined a shadow cast (first "Slugs in Fishnets," the UC Santa Cruz cast and then "The Bawdy Caste" of San Francisco [8]) and began performing. I did this for five years. Doing the math, (for 2 or 3 shows a month once on Bawdy Caste) that means I've seen the film over 120 times, not counting rehearsals, conventions [9] or good ol' home viewings.

Slugs logo co-designed by my pal Jesse Avshalomov and myself! The Bawdy Caste has been performing for almost 20 years, if you're in the bay area check them out!

            But then I moved to Los Angeles for grad school. I was taking a break from Rocky. I loved it but I wasn't in love with it anymore. Our time was done and now there was a weird, dorky, sequin-less void in my obsessive soul. I needed a new weekly ritual to sate my nerdy appetite (nerd-ppetite? I'll keep working on that,) also, to keep me sane in a world of dense-bordering-on-opaque "avant garde" theater. Keeping balance in one's life is so important, after all. And then a college friend took me to "The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail" and I was born again....again [10].

    A comedy show in a comic book store! They don't even have to change their advertising! "Comics!" ("Strike 2, Brittany." - you). The energy was just so....welcoming. Unlike most comedy clubs I had been dragged to, the audience at Meltdown was excited, positive, ready to laugh (as opposed to an audience made up mainly of tourists made cranky by paying a twenty dollar cover plus a two drink minimum *cough cough* Comedy Store. *cough.* *cough.*) and the comedians weren't bitter angry straight guys (or if that was their schtick, it was more of a mockery of those types of men rather than actually who they were.) I was in a room full of cool, nerdy awesome people watching more cool nerdy awesome people tell funny jokes! Plus alcohol. (Yay!) And this is going to sound weird but, it felt safe. Not that the jokes were "safe" (ie, mainstream, boring, pg, etc.) but that the space was. No one in the audience was heckling (it's happened since but it's a rare occurrence) and when a comedian did choose to interact with/riff on someone in the audience it was never cruel. Like I said earlier, it was welcoming. And that was exciting. (Especially in too-cool-for-school-LA.) And they do it every Wednesday. I had found my new church. The weird dork void in my soul was filled. I am now a regular audience member (with regular seating, 2^nd row usually middle to left). So when they announced they were hosting their FREE (with RSVP) 3 ^rd annual "Summahfest!" ("Only squares pronounce the 'er'!" - me "You're a square." - everyone else) I was stoked. [11]

            On to the actual event! Finally! The fun started at 2pm in the parking lot behind the store. Music was playing, people were busting out some sweet super soakers and sploshing down the WORLD'S MOST FUN LOOKING SLIP N' SLIDE (it was giant and inflatable). The Wien Truck was also in attendance, slinging their delicious dogs. My friend V and I both got "The Gunslinger," which is a bacon-wrapped hot dog topped with onion rings, cheddar cheese and barbeque sauce. It was summah decadence shoved in a bun[12]. If I could have one of those with a six pack every Saturday afternoon for the rest of my life I could die happy....and probably from a myocardial infarction. [13] And I have to stop now or I won't be able to resist some inappropriate jokes.

Howard Kremer, King of Summah!
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

The show! Hosted by Howard Kremer, the "King" of Summah. Howard Kremer, clothed he looks like bat boy, but slap a pair of tiny board shorts, a tan, and pair of square-framed hipster glasses on him and suddenly he's James Darren in Gidget. Or, as my friend V said "I don't recognize any of these comedians with their shirts off!" Something not normally said about comedians in any sort of excited tone, but this is Hollywood and everyone, comedians included, is apparently at the peak of physical fitness[14]. So kudos bros. [15] Anyways, Kremer is a delight and the band that was the opening act, "The Manx," was strange and wonderful. Banjos and Ukeles and GWAR songs.

The Manx!
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

What would you call that? Folk-core? Gwar-core? Whatever it was, it was pretty bad-ass. Then, the comedians: Johnny Pemberton, Ed Salazar, Jonah Ray, Kumail Nanjani, April Richardson, Steve Agee, Paul Danke, and Ron Funches! That's a lot of folks and they were, with maybe one exception, all extremely funny so here's a quick one sentence summation for each one:

Johnny Pemberton: Edward Norton's awkward younger brother.

Ed Salazar, The Sheriff of Summah!
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

Ed Salazar (The Sheriff of Summah): Should wear tiny spurs more often. And tiny hats.

Jonah Ray: Co-host of "the Meltdown," also a giant snarky hipster beaver.

Emily Gordon and Kumail Nanjani
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

Kumail Nanjani (plus Emily): Who thought sideburns and Elvis hair could be so innocent and adorable?

April Richardson
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

April Richardson: Funny, but beautiful pin-up models shouldn't complain about being mistaken for a dude - even if it's happened. (At least not in front of girls that aren't as pretty as she is.)[16]

Steve Agee: giant ginger hipster beaver.

Paul Danke: His condescending-aggro tone was off putting, but he made me laugh a couple times.

Ron Funches: If the sun had a face, it would be Ron Funches'.

So, in summarizing this awkward, weird blog/review/love letter to Summahfest and Meltdown, let me first say: sorry this was so long. Second, I hope no one from Meltdown reads this because I probably sound like the brown nosing kid that tries too hard to make friends with the popular clique in high school. But I am sincere. I am a Fan, and a fan. And I think all 50 of my facebook friends who read this should be too. Hurray for Meltdown and hurray for Summah!

Johnny Pemberton and audience. (If you're brave enough, look closely and you'll see me at the far end.)
Credit: Tyler Ross www.flickr.com/photos/theatrossity/ @atrossity

[1] Scale in this instance being measured in pianos.

[2] I hate this term. I am a fan-woman, nay a fan-lady darnit! Show some respect.

[3] I have Original Series Star Fleet insignia earrings. Boom. But, don't let that fool you, I'm a TNG girl all the way. Picard4Life. (Sorry Shatner.)

[4] Anne McCaffrey's "Dragon Riders of Pern" and Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series, you get my footnote of shame.

[5] Or, Inception.

[6] By that I mean protestant church. As Tallulah Bankhead once said of catholic priests - their gowns are fabulous but their purses are on fire. *Snap.*

[7] It really is exactly like church.

[8] HOLLA!

[9] Rocky Horror Conventions: Sexier than ComiCon and also much much scarier.

[10] Just one more and it could be.....Birthception!

[11] I know, you thought that intro would never end.

[12] Somewhere, Tom Cruise's buns are tingling with excitement.

[13] Infarction: a heart attack within a heart attack within a heart attack.

[14] Except for me. Also when I say "peak of physical fitness" I mean, they don't have a beer gut. I set my standards looow.

[15] Do Kudos still exist? I'm talking about the chocolate covered granola bars. Cause if they do, I'm pitching "kudos bros" as their new advertising tagline.

[16] And by girls I mean me. Insecurity on the internet, what!

Margaritas and Motown

Brittany — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 23:39:00 GMT

July 31^st 2012.

Location: La Velvet Margarita Cantina

Time: Happy Hour[1]

Drinks to be ordered: All of them.

Except for the ones with citrus in them.[2] Because I'm allergic. Not in a throat closing, deathy kind of way, but in the horrible hives cover my body and last for a week and itch and I scratch them and look like a detoxing junkie kind of way. Not life threatening, but ugly, and I don't have any pride left (or shame) but I do have my vanity. It's also a new allergy - I didn't think that was possible, or allowed (curse you science!) - that made it's gross rashy debut this Christmas so I'm still in the adjustment phase. No delicious juice, no delicious drinks made with delicious juice, no lemon meringue pies, no lemon bars, no nothing with oranges, lemons, limes, tangerines, grapefruits, etc.

Why divulge this personal health problem/annoyance? Because I chose to go to a bar with "margarita[3]" in its name. Why did I choose to go to a margarita bar? Because I'm a masochist. Also, they serve delicious Mexican food. Also, maybe I wanted to look at the margaritas longingly from afar, my love unrequited, knowing I could never be with them but still wanting to know that they were being lovingly consumed by other healthier patrons with stronger immune systems than I, and maybe I've been reading too much Brontë, maybe.

Regardless, I was determined to have a good time. My friend, El Rojo[4], was joining me for a night of drinks and Theatah! And having drinks at La Velvet Cantina Margarita is a theatrical experience in and of itself.

Boom.

You walk in and are immediately consumed by its atmosphere. Blue velvet walls, a ceiling covered in sombreros, black velvet (lots of velvet basically) paintings of 50's icons and lucha libre wrestlers, dia de los muertos puppets dangling, Elvis movies playing on two large projectors, it's a whole lot of kitsch. And I love kitsch. Kitsch and $5 margaritas. Wait - not regular margaritas, the other fruit flavored ones! And never has anyone looked at me with such pity or bewilderment as my waiter when I explained my allergy and then ordered a mango margarita. He almost shed a single, sorrowful tear. I'm sure of it.

On the left, my sad instagramtastic photo. On the right, the former Hogwarts Headmasters that watch you while you eat.

Anyways, I was one drink and half a complimentary basket of chips in when El Rojo showed up. (I was early, he was on time). It was time to step it up. No more sad faux-garitas for me. If I couldn't have margaritas then I was going to have.........a drink served in a giant pineapple! The Royal Velvet, (or Velvet Royale if you're in France[5]) is made of tequila, amaretto, fresh pineapple juice and Chambord. El Rojo ordered the Velvet Elvis which is made of tequila, crème de cassis, fresh pineapple and orange juice and ginger ale. My Royal Velvet was delicious but I couldn't help but take El Rojo's flaunting his ability to drink not one but two citrus juices as anything but the most grievous of insults. But that's just how he rolls. For dinner I had the salmon quesadilla and he had the salmon tacos (copycat). I rounded it off with one more mango faux-garita (yes I'm making this a thing) for old time's sake and we were off to the Pantages!

My night in pictures.

So.

Memphis.

Huey, not in front of your mother! (Left: Bryan Fenkart and Felicia Boswell, Right: Julie Johnson belting out "Change Don't Come Easy.")

I was originally excited about this show. I hear the words "Tony," "musical," and "motown," and I can't wait to get my groove on. And even the premise was somewhat intriguing: 1950's Memphis, the birth of rock n' roll and an interracial couple fighting for acceptance, would it be rollicking yet emotionally moving like West Side Story? Or would it be campy and inspiring like Hairspray? I at least expected fun songs and impressive choreography.

But what did I get?

Let me say first, that those actors worked their butts off. Their dance and vocal talents were clearly very impressive, they kept the energy high and the pace moving - basically they did the best with what they had to work with, and that wasn't a whole lot. The dialogue is cartoonish and straight out of a Tyler Perry film. If I were to take a drink every time one of the actors had to state their race and religion (options: black, white, Christian) I would have died of alcohol poisoning before intermission. And the songs were even more broad. This was the musical that won several Tony's, including Best New Musical and Best Book and Score? Who wrote this? Oh right, the keyboardist for Bon Jovi (David Bryan) and Joe DiPietro (another white dude).

David Bryan, hair show goddess. Joe DiPietro, needs funnier hair.

In Charles Isherwood's review of the Broadway performance he described it as "the Michael Bolton of musicals," and I'm pretty sure they should adopt that as their new tag line. Songs like "Everybody Wants to be Black on a Saturday Night" and "Colored Woman" while striving, in earnest, to promote positive messages of equality and tolerance just come off as offensive cliches.[6] The catchiest song, "Change Don't Come Easy," belongs to Huey (the protagonist)'s mother. It's also the most honest. Even with the histrionic vocalizing at its end [7]. But despite it's many many [8] flaws there were a few truly delightful and funny moments. Bryan Fenkart, Huey, was charismatic and enthusiastic - even if he spoke, inexplicably, like Larry the Cable Guy, and Felicia Boswell, the singer he falls for, has a stunning voice. Julie Johnson, Huey's mother, has excellent comedic timing. Will Mann, Bobby, is a big man with some serious dance skillz. As I said before, these are extremely talented actors workin' hard for that money [9].

Felicia Boswell and co. are "Scratching that Itch." I guess they have a citrus allergy too!

There are larger social issues with this play and its commercial success[10] that I would love love LOVE to get into (I mean hello it's a musical about race relations in the segregated south in which the stealing/appropriation of African-American music is treated as a punch line. Three separate times. [11]) but I think I have to save that for when I'm Charles Isherwood. Or Angela Davis. [12] I could write pages and pages on it's unintentional Brechtianism (just go with it) and camp, but this is a blog about having fun exploring Hollywood so I'll content myself with talking the ears off of all my friends. Or, leaving my acapella renditions of the entire Memphis soundtrack on El Rojo's voicemail. (Revenge, like citrus, is a sweet and sour thing. And since I can't sate myself with citrus....)

In summation:

La Velvet Margarita Cantina get's 5 out of 5 Pineapples of awesomeness.

Memphis get's 2 out of 4 frowning Isherwoods.

And David Bryan's hair get's 4 out of 5 disapproving Boltons.

El Rojo get's his contact info in my phone permanently changed to El Rojo.

COMING SOON: Never a dull moment on the metro Red Line and "Summahfest!"

[1] Every hour that involves alcohol is "happy." But in this specific instance, it was 6 o'clock in the pm.

[2] Which is 95% of drinks made with alcohol, turns out.

[3] You know, that drink made of two things: tequila and LIME juice.

[4] This is what you get when you ask for a pseudonym.

[5] Pulp Fiction jokes are hilarious and topical! Oh god...pulp...I....I can't escape you citrus!!!

[6] Especially when considering they were written and composed by 2 WHITE DUDES.

[7] Another plague of this production. Unearned melismas every three verses don't make a song powerful or good. I call it "American Idolitis."

[8] Many many many

[9] So hard for the money. So you betta treat them right.

[10] It got a standing ovation. Los Angeles, as my former mentor Alice Tuan said, is very promiscuous with it's standing o's. Any show with a budget over $10,000 is guaranteed one apparently.

[11] 2 WHITE DUDES. More privileged than 2 BROKE GIRLS and even less entertaining.

[12] I'm going to have the most amazing business cards when that happens.

Fun, Feathers and Free Food!

Brittany — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 22:58:00 GMT

Two words: Pear Manhattans.

Wait. I can't start a blog like that.

Ok.

Three words: Hot Welsh Bartender.

Stop. Rewind.

I had been looking forward to Wednesday for a long time. Two whole weeks in fact. I had tickets to The Theatre! And I was to be accompanied by my friend Jahcobie (another alum of Cal Arts) and we were both looking forward to seeing La Cage Aux Folles at The Pantages Theatre. It was going to be a night of drinks, drag queens and sparkles. At 6, he picked me up from DHHQ [1] in the COCOMobile. (not pictured: His amazing vanity plate "JACOCO<3") and we were off! First stop: nourishment and libations! We chose St. Felix, on N. Cahuenga and Selma. This is where the Pear Manhattans and HWB [2] make their triumphant return!

St. Felix is a charming little bar/restaurant with a pretty great (for Hollywood) happy hour. $5 slider and taco plates. 1/2 off all beer, wine and specialty cocktails, ("Let's get fancy!" - me "Let's get that bartender's phone number!" - Jacoco). It has a low-key yet upscale ambiance, and while the clientele and wait staff were all a bajillion times hipper than me, they seemed unperturbed by my presence and I got to pretend like I was hanging out with the cool kids for once.

Pictured: Kobe Slider. (Sadly) Not Pictured: HWB.

Jahcobie ordered the Short Rib Slider (the happy hour special comes with one slider and a side of delicious sweet potato fries) and I ordered the Kobe Beef. We both ordered Pear Manhattans to start. The bartender accidentally brought us both short rib sliders, but realized his mistake half-way to where we were sitting at the bar, so I ended up with 2 juicy sliders for the price of one! (One more reason for my fondness of HWB: free food.) The Kobe beef slider was topped with bacon, grilled onions and bleu cheese and it took all my self control not to try and fit the whole thing in my mouth. The short rib slider was tangy and had enough spice to keep Jahcobie happy but didn't set my mouth on fire. (I am a big wimp when it comes to spicy food. I never understood how burning was supposed to be a good thing. Fire = bad, Smokey the Bear taught me that.) The pear manhattans were super strong but super smooth and yummy, and we followed them up with two Chocolate Roux's (chocolate vodka, white chocolate liqueur, butterscotch, banana and chocolate swirls, topped with cocoa powder, cinnamon and nutmeg) for dessert. Heaven. Heaven in my mouth. All the heavens, they went in my mouth.

And then it was time for La Cage!

Ok.

So, having both of my degrees in theater means I have to do my darndest not to turn this into ten page performance studies paper. I have to turn the "critical-theory-avante-garde-socio-politcal-analysis" dial down just a little. It's a broadway musical! It's about drag queens! It was written in 1983! It's starring George Hamilton! It's not Shakespeare or Chekov. But, culturally and historically, it is significant and that's worth discussing.

La Cage Aux Folles was originally a French play, written by Jean Poiret in 1973, which was then adapted into a film of the same name in 1978. Harvey Fierstein and Jerry Herman then wrote an American musical adaptation of the French play in 1983. It's most well known incarnation is 1996's The Birdcage, starring Robin Williams, Nathan Lane and Gene Hackman. It tells the story of Georges and Albin, a gay couple that own a drag club in St. Tropez. Georges is the producer and Albin is "Zaza," the star of the show. The plot centers around the return of their son (Jean Michel, the product of Georges one youthful dalliance with a woman.) who is engaged to the daughter of an über-conservative politician whose re-election campaign platform is to shut down St. Tropez's drag clubs. Jean Michel asks Georges to redecorate his home, pretend to be straight, and send Albin away. But just for one night so that his fiancé doesn't lose her dowry. High jinks ensue when his biological mother doesn't show and Albin appears (in drag) in her place.

At the time it was produced it was the first big Broadway musical about gay characters, gay themes, AND a happy ending for all. It came out right when the AIDS crisis in America was reaching a frenzied peak of fear and homophobia. Albin's defiant song at the end of Act 1: "I am what I am" became a rallying cry of the LGBTQ movement. And did I mention it had a happy ending? No suicides, no beatings, no tragedy.[3] The selfish jerk son learns to not try and hide/change his parents [4], the conservative jerk senator learns to not be close minded and hateful, the kids get to marry and Georges and Albin have a renewed sense of love and pride. THAT'S A BIG DEAL FOR 1983. That's a big deal for now. It's a heartwarming and silly and fun and has a message. But, it's also depressing. It makes me sad, that we as a culture (and a country) still need to hear it. We are making great strides, but we still have a long way to go. I wish this show could be viewed as an artifact. Or a piece of history. Something to remind us of how far we've come. But sadly, it's still relevant. We still need to be reminded about love, acceptance, and having pride in who we are, no matter what our sexual preference is.

I could go on for pages and pages, but I'll put my internet soap box away for now, because it's time to discuss the actual performance!

You walk up to the Pantages and a near 7 foot dall drag queen is outside welcoming audience members or "patrons" into the "club." She struts around cracking jokes, taking "reservations" down on her clip board, and setting a fun and sassy atmosphere. Ten minutes before curtain, she takes the stage and becomes a sort of MC/audience "warm up guy" - which is quite an impressive feat for a 2,000 seat theatre still being filled by chatty audience members.

And then the play begins! Georges, played by George Hamilton, introduces "La Cagelles" (the drag queen chorus[5]) as well as life with Albin (played by Christopher Seiber [6]), his partner of 20 years. Feathers and jokes fly with fun abandon as La Cagelles sing "We Are What We Are." Seiber is sharp and funny and George Hamilton is charming (even if his face does look the same from the front row of the orchestra as it does from the back of the mezzanine) - however, he is not a strong singer and he has A LOT of songs to sing (hello, he's the lead.) The pacing is also glacial. I'm not sure if that was the structure of the two acts (basically all the action gets crammed into the second half of the second act) or working out opening night kinks but it dragged. (Heh heh, get it? Sorry, I will never do that again. [7]) Still, when Seiber defiantly belts out "I Am What I Am" at the close of Act One and storms out through the audience I was moved.

The pace picks up in the second act, but some of the jokes don't quite seem to land, partly because of the delivery and partly because they haven't aged too well. I was also bothered by the vagueness of the design and the accents. They kept it set in the late 70's - early 80's, sort of. Jean Michel (the son) is in flared polyester pants and wide collared shirts, but everyone else was dressed contemporarily, and come on we are dealing with drag queens here. You could go to TOWN with some French 80's fabulousness. And the accents! Some characters had French accents and some did not! Also, if you're not using the French accent why are you still saying "papa" with one? I love musical theater, and thusly am willing to take some leaps of faith as an audience member - such as characters bursting into elaborate song and dance numbers, but inconsistency pulls me right out.

Structurally, it is quite uneven and everything gets resolved a little too hurriedly at the end. Also, the action hinges on making sure Jean Michel's fiancé get's her dowry. DOWRY? In 1983? Was France really still that entrenched in the feudal system? Script-wise, why not just change it to inheritance? Anywho. Overall, it's still a fun, heart-warming show with an important message that is actually appropriate for all ages. Despite my cantankerous inner critic I had a blast. So now its time for catchy slogans! Fabulous fun for the whole family! Get merry with marabou! Ham it up with Hamilton! Don't be a drag, have a ball! Hot Welsh Bartender!

(Hot Welsh Bartender recieves 4 out of 4 drag queen spirit fingers.)

[1] That's Discover Hollywood head quarters for you civilians. We call ya "civvies." Sometimes, "normies." By "we" I mean "I." "We" ("I") maybe watch a little too much Family Guy.
[2] Hot Welsh Bartender
[3] See: The Children's Hour, The Boys in the Band, Stop/Kiss, etc etc etc.
[4] SPOILER ALERT: This musical has been out for almost 30 years. Also, The Birdcage. You know how it ends all ready.
[5] My favorite kind of chorus.
[6] Originally Georges in the 2010 revival.
[7] Sorry, that was a total lie.

Hello Hollywood!

Brittany — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 00:16:00 GMT

Hello, Hollywood! I, Brittany Knupper, am going to discover you.

Not like Magellan or Vespucci, you do exist on a map (and Google Earth) after all - and for kind of a long time, if I'm remembering my California history (yes, anything older than 100 years still counts as old to me. Not in the larger universal context, but in the "I'm 26 years old" context) correctly, but as a post-graduate-student, post-suburb resident, post-theater-and-feminist-studies-major and brand-spanking-new Hollywood resident.

Now, Hollywood, I know you're asking yourself two things: 1.Why is she personifying me? I'm a town! And, 2. Who is this Brittany Knupper and why does she want to write about me so badly? Shouldn't she be satisfied with the writings of Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Bret Easton Ellis, Mike Davis and countless others?

Hammett, Chandler, Ellis, and Davis. Renowned for their smoke inhalation, facial hair and whiteness.

Well listen up Hollywood, (and for the record that last question was two, but I'll let it slide this time) you're a vibrant, dirty, hilarious, exciting entity brimming with people and Jung said some things about the collective unconscious that I kind of like, and most of your inhabitants are actors who make a living personifying fictional characters so take a page from their book. Also, congress told me corporations are people, and you're a lot smaller than some of those, so guess what you just got granted full person-hood status in my book.

As for who I am? I am 26, I just got my MFA in 'Writing For Performance' (another reason for my personification of objects/places/ideas - it's so much easier to hold a dialogue that way) from the California Institute of the Arts, I am the new assistant editor/general helper-outer for Discover Hollywood Magazine and I just moved to Hollywood! Like literally less than a week ago.

Glasses are a mandatory accessory for anyone with a post-graduate degree. Not pictured: elbow patches.

But why write about my adventures in Hollywood? Because "small town girl in the big city" stories will always be popular. Because Hollywood makes movies and movies cater to what's popular. Because Hollywood does so much more than make movies. Because Hollywood (and Los Angeles) are full of hungry artists and hungry artists make the most exciting work. Because they have to. Because its all they can do. Because Hollywood is glamorous. Because Hollywood is dirty. Because Los Angeles (and Hollywood) is the city of the 21^st century (just ask Mike Davis, or read "City of Quartz"). Because Hollywood squishes all the celebrities, hobos, freaks, struggling artists, scheming fame-whores, gold diggers, joe-shmoes, tourists, bitter writers, bright-eyed newcomers, tranny streetwalkers and run-on-sentence-writers into 25 square miles. Because it's superficial and it's incredibly complex. Because it excites me. That's why.

So, hello Hollywood. I am going explore all your nooks and crannies. I'm going to experience your highs and lows. I'm going visit your tourist traps and your hidden treasures. I'm going to eat all your food. All of it. And I'm going to write it all down.

Love,

Brittany

Sweet photo courtesy of verofication.blogspot.com

Go Billy!

Trevi — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 23:16:00 GMT

Having just graduated from the World Arts and Cultures department at UCLA last June, I took a couple performance studies classes which, while exceptionally grueling, were begrudgingly interesting and are still highly applicable to daily life. With this very brief intro to performance studies under my belt, I feel like I could sit down and write a ten-page essay on Billy Elliot the Musical--but I'll save that for another time and place. I will, however, tell you that if you have not yet seen this fantastic production, you should run to the Pantages now, before you miss it.

I absolutely adored the movie and have seen it at least ten times, if not more. It was one of those movies that was so moving--the heartache, the frustration, the sweetness--I cried every single time I watched it. But I haven't seen Billy Elliot in years, so while I remember the basic plot, the musical felt very fresh.

My friend Meaghan came with me on Tuesday night to see Billy Elliot the Musical and she agreed that because stage is much different than film, the production's director and art director are able to interpret scenes in a new way that elegantly interlaces the two main plot lines. I was only twelve or thirteen when the film was released, so the complex contrast between the stories of Billy and his striking coal miner father and brother were probably lost on me anyway, given my youth, my lack of political awareness, and my lack of worldly experience. But seen on the stage as a 24-year old the irony of Billy's father and brother fighting for justice while ignoring the excruciating oppression and injustice they cause Billy is unavoidable and heartbreaking. The spectacular Act I finale cements this conflict beautifully, when Billy's father forbids him from participating in the Royal Ballet's auditions and Billy proceeds to dance angrily (this time his choreography heavily influenced by modern dance, rather than the graceful and often peaceful ballet), first in his bedroom but then, when the set drops away, in front of and against riot police and their bullet proof shields. The result is striking, terrifying, and almost relieving, as if Billy is dancing for all the times you were a teenager and were forbidden from doing something you cared deeply about-and even for all the injustice happening in the US and the world in 2012.

Seems apropos, doesn't it?

For all the seriousness and sadness in Billy Elliot The Musical there is also plenty of humor. Michael (played by, I believe, Jacob Zelonky on Tuesday)-Billy's chubby, cross-dressing friend-provides perfectly-timed comic relief; the kid's hilarious. (He is usually silly, but the character of Michael also brings up further notions of "queerness"-an idea that deserves to be more fully fleshed out in that ten- or perhaps fifteen-page paper!) Also flexing her comedic muscles is Regan Mason Haley as Tracey Atkinson, one of Mrs. Wilkinson's other ballet pupils. Grandma also offers some curmudgeonly comedy, but it's often bittersweet. She has a song that definitely made my eyes well up!

Despite all the wonderful things happening on stage in Billy Elliot The Musical, there were a couple weak points. The actor who played Billy on Tuesday night was spectacular and, of course, adorable. But his accent was a bit forced, and unfortunately the bathroom scene where Mrs. Wilkinson convinces Billy to take classes with her was not nearly as passionate as it is in the film.

But my main complaint? Where's all the T. Rex music? I desperately wanted to hear some I Love to Boogie. It could have even been during curtain call! But no such luck.

After the show, Meaghan and I ran across the street to Wood & Vine to grab a drink. I'd been here once to work at a Hollywood Arts Council membership mixer, but only had a margarita (the special that night). This time we both got a couple of exotic-and insanely good-cocktails. I started out with a Magnolia (Rain cucumber vodka, ginger honey, cucumber, and lime juice) which was extremely light and refreshing-and I'm not usually a vodka person. Meaghan got a standard whiskey drink, maybe an old fashioned, which she said was tasty. After making friends with a Canadian couple in town for the woman's 30 ^th birthday, we ordered another round. I decided to try the Aviation (New Amsterdam gin, Maraschino, Crème de Violette, lemon juice) which was spectacular, and Meaghan tried the Sazerac, an amazing combination of Old Overholt rye, Peychaud's absinthe, and simple syrup. Yowza! I really like Wood & Vine-it's perfect for a post-theatre drink (late night happy hour!) or bite. Their hushpuppies are ridiculous.

Magnolia on the left, whiskey on the right

After Wood & Vine the birthday girl invited us up to their king suite at the Redbury up the street. If you have never been to the Redbury, go! I had never seen the inside, and it's the coolest thing ever. Everything is red and moody, with giant black and white photos of Old Hollywood stars like Jean Harlow and Greta Garbo tucked into dark corners. It's all very luxe and sexy. And their room was fantastic. With a glass of wine in hand, we listened to some music, sat on their covered balcony, and watched the rain fall onto the Knickerbocker apartments next door. After our glass of wine, we parted ways (with a new place to stay if we ever visited Alberta !) and trudged down a very wet and slippery Walk of Fame.

Could she be any more rad?

It was just another night in Hollywood ...

Billy Elliot the Musical runs at the Pantages Theatre thru May 13. Check our calendar for dates and times.
Wood & Vine is located in the Taft Building at 6280 Hollywood Blvd. at Vine St. in Hollywood, CA 90028
The Redbury Hotel is located at 1717 Vine St. Hollywood, CA 90028

Sunset + Vine Pole Banner Contest

Trevi — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 21:29:00 GMT

This is a really fun, community-wide event. Get involved!

The Sunset & Vine Business Improvement District (BID) is a non-profit organization made up of property owners surrounding the Sunset & Vine intersection. Hollywood has long been recognized as a hotbed of talent and creativity, and with the Hollywood Palladium, Arclight Cinema, and myriad other entertainment venues, the famed intersection has them in spades. And now the BID has teamed up with Helen Bernstein High Schoolto showcase some homegrown talent right here in our neighborhood! Rather than hire a graphic designer to create new pole banners for the District, students enrolled in the school's art department have a shot at it as part of a class assignment and contest.

Art instructor Justice O'Neil broke down the contest assignment into smaller lessons on lettering, coloring, and design before the large, final works were created. Over 60 students collaborated to create 35 unique designs as part of the contest.

"It is so valuable for students to have the opportunity to work with the business community so they can experience, practice and learn what goes on in the real world," O'Neil said. "As educators, we talk to our students about the 'real world' all the time, but there is nothing like personal experience to bring that lesson home."

YOU can help foster these ideas within the art students of Helen Bernstein High School. Visit the BID's Facebook page at facebook.com/HollywoodHQ and vote on YOUR favorite design. Of the 35 entries, two designs will be chosen by the Central Hollywood Coalition, and two designs will be chosen by YOU! The four designs will then be used to create 150 street pole banners to be displayed around the district.

The students' original works will also be exhibited at the upcoming Sunset & Dine event, currently scheduled for June 7, 2012. This event will not only celebrate the renewal of the Sunset & Vine district, but will also showcase the local food and entertainment options within the neighborhood.

"We have been so grateful to work with the students at Helen Bernstein High School, one of the premiere LAUSD schools, located in a brand new building at the gateway to the District," Sarah MacPherson, executive director of the Sunset & Vine District, said. "We see this as one of the first of many partnerships between the business community and the future leaders in Hollywood."

Vote NOW for your favorite designs, and give a huge sense of accomplishment to the students of Helen Bernstein High School! Who knows, some of them may go on to become the next wave of successful Hollywood artists!

Public voting for this contest will last thru April 30, and final winners will be announced May 2, 2012. Good luck to all the participants!

Wicked

Trevi — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 18:50:00 GMT

I was raised in a family that REALLY likes The Wizard of Oz. We do not own a copy and watch it sometimes. No, we own an old VHS, a new VHS, and a limited edition DVD that came in a Yellow Brick Road box set with a reproduced copy of the script, a book about the making of the film, and a commemorative wristwatch. And when we come across it on television we shout to each other from the other room, " The Wizard of Oz is on!!!!" as if we have no other means by which to watch it. As a child, The Wizard of Oz often acted as my babysitter. I'm an only child so when my mother was cooking in the kitchen or working in another room, I'd get to watch The Wizard of Oz. I'm fairly certain that was the genesis of my recurring chased-by-tornadoes nightmare. We literally had a family viewing party (all 10 or so of us) at my parent's house to see if The Dark Side of the Moon really does match up (note: it totally does and it's awesome). We're the kind of people who think it's not just normal but expected to exclaim, "How 'bout a little fire, Scarecrow!" whenever anyone lights a match.

I'm not afraid of anything...except a lighted match.

Needless to say, when I was graciously invited to attend opening night of Wicked at the Pantages Theatre on December 1 ^st, I figured I should take my mother and make a night of it.

I left the Discover Hollywood office and met my mom at Off Vine, a little bungalow of a restaurant that is, quite literally, off Vine St. It was adorable! There are a million little white tables with fairy lights outside, but unfortunately it was way too cold to sit on the porch. Luckily it was nice and toasty inside, and charmingly decorated with wreaths and lights for the holidays.

The New American menu is impressive, with entrees like Smoked Mozzarella and Chicken Ravioli, Braised Short Ribs, and Wild Atlantic Salmon topped with sautéed garlicky veggies. Astoundingly-to me, anyway-they have an entire vegan section on the menu! I tried the Pistachio Encrusted Vegan Chicken. Much to my dismay I'm allergic to nuts, so I had to nix the pistachios. The chicken is served with a (very) sweet mango sauce that I wished was a mango salsa instead, but it was still tasty. I missed the saltiness of the pistachios with it, though. The vegan garlic mashed potatoes were insanely good, and the side of green beans was seriously cooked to absolute perfection. Mom got an off-menu special: Tilapia, served with a chunky olive and veggie sauce, with mashed sweet potatoes and green beans. She said the whole thing was absolute heaven. I got a glass of Pinot Grigio ($6 for a huge pour) and Mom got a cappuccino at the end of the night that looked delish. Oh and by the way, the bread is INSANITY and it comes with a little pot of fresh pesto that was immediately sopped up.

I apologize for all these terrible images,
my camera ran out of batteries and I forgot my charger
in Portland over Thanksgiving weekend!
This food was delicious though!

I want to take a separate paragraph to tell you that our waiter was incredibly sweet, funny, and seemed to genuinely care that we enjoyed our Off Vine experience. And we did! So thank you, kind sir.

Then it was off to the theatre! We parked a block or two away and, as if by design, walked right over Judy Garland's star on the Vine St. Walk of Fame.

Just as we arrived to pick up our tickets, Anne Heche and her family stepped out of their limo, greeted by a GIGANTIC crowd of paparazzi. I've never seen that scene in real life-it's mesmerizing. Everyone was silent. All you could hear was the clicking of the cameras and Heche's handler quietly saying, "Excuse us," and "Watch out." It was actually really interesting.

Anne Heche on the red carpet
Image courtesy of Getty Images

Other celebs were there, including Broadway, Television and Film favorites like Molly Ringwald, Candace Cameron Bure (who I sat one seat away from!), Kevin Sorbo, Regina King, and Patrick Warburton.

And the show was absolutely spectacular. Full disclosure: I had anticipated a little bit of cheese. But there was NONE! It was sweet and exciting and the songs were spectacular and catchy and sung to mind-blowing perfection. I'm sure you all know the basis of the show, but just in case: Wicked is the story of what happened in Oz before Dorothy "dropped in."

Mamie Parris as Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) galumphs around the stage in true Elphaba/Wicked Witch/Elmira Gulch fashion. She has truly transformed herself into this character. But for how unrefined and antisocial she manages to act, Parris can still belt out a tune. I mean, this woman is a serious showstopper. I could not believe the notes she held, or for how long she held them.

Images courtesy of Broadway L.A. and the Pantages Theatre

Meanwhile Katie Rose Clarke flits around onstage, oftentimes stealing the scene as the sickeningly sweet and popular Glinda who you love to hate but also just love to love. Clarke's Good Witch is a brilliant Mary Katherine Gallagher/Elle Woods lovechild: blonde, brilliant, and popular, yet spastically desperate.

Separately and as an onstage team, Parris and Clarke are incredible in Wicked. The two of them, combined with the rest of the show's amazing cast, as well as the gripping story makes this a super fun, if sometimes heartbreaking, production. GO NOW!

Off Vine is located at 6263 Leland Way, Hollywood, CA 90028
The Pantages Theatre is located at 6233 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90028
Back by popular demand, Wicked is at the Pantages Theatre through January 29. Visit www.broadwayla.org for more information.

Irish Hollywood

Trevi — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 20:45:00 GMT

My friend Peter and I enjoyed a very Irish night out in Hollywood last night, and it was, in a word, epic.

The night started out at Dillon's Irish Pub, with an exorbitantly expensive Patron on the rocks for me and a super cheap pint of Guinness (or two) for Peter. We had both eaten dinner beforehand, so we just stuck to drinks, but I took a peek at the menu. Not much in the way of vegetarian fare, but for your average Joe, who presumably would be going to Dillon's to watch a soccer or basketball (RIP NBA) game with the dudes, there were a ton of delicious looking options. Plus, they had a page of specials with lots of Irish dishes. The little specials menu on the table had a page of desserts, many of which featured a whiskey caramel sauce, namely the Irish bread pudding: bread pudding, topped with vanilla bean ice cream and drizzled in whiskey caramel sauce. Oh my God I almost had to get it, but I resisted. Maybe next time...when I'm not saving up all my cheat days for Thanksgiving!

After we finished our drinks we walked literally two doors east to grab our tickets at the Pantages box office. This is the second time I've been to Dillon's before going to a show at the Pantages, and both times it has been a GREAT decision. You don't have to worry about parking all over again and, even when it is crowded (like it was the first time), Dillon's is a fun place to hang out for an hour or so.

So, what were we seeing at the Pantages that night, you ask? RIVERDANCE. It's back for this weekend only, on the Los Angeles leg of their farewell tour! Fifteen years ago to the day was their opening night at the Pantages, and they're back to say goodbye to Los Angeles for good-or at least for awhile.

When I think of Riverdance one of the first things that pops into my head is a scene from arguably the best episode of Friends ever:

His legs flail about as if independent from his body! This is a true statement. Although the Lord of the Dance has long since retired, the new Riverdance lead, Craig Ashurst, is still incredibly impressive-not only with his footwork, but also in his ability to really work a crowd.

Peter and I both studied in the Department of World Arts and Cultures at UCLA-a department that is divided into Cultural Studies and Dance Studies. We were both on the Cultural Studies side of the department. Strangely enough, though, Peter is an amazing professional swing dancer. He teaches at schools and clubs all over the city, and is seriously talented. But neither of us had ever been to or thought about going to Riverdance before, so we sort of knew what to expect, but nothing could prepare us for the epicness of the show.

Everyone involved in Riverdance is insanely talented, but the best part of the show was how passionate and super into it they were throughout the entire performance. Keep in mind, too, that there aren't just dancers in Riverdance; singers and a live band make up the rest of the cast. A lone drummer (Mark Alfred) kept the beat the entire show, dancing along with the other performers between two combined drum kits. He never missed a beat. On the opposite side of the stage were three other musicians: a fiddler (Pat Mangan) with the fastest hands I have ever seen, a saxophonist (Dave McGauran) who had a sweet number with just him and the drummer toward the end of the show, and Matt Bashford who played the uilleann pipes and low whistles. I know nothing about traditional Irish instruments (I have no idea how a bagpipe works), but I'm pretty sure the uilleann pipes was the instrument he played that sort of sounded like bagpipes but it was a string instrument that was controlled with something that looked like a weird, giant version of a whammy bar. He had a solo at the very beginning of the show that was really amazing.

The musicians and dancers, including Ashurst and the female lead Caterina Coyne, really know how to keep an audience riveted. They made eye contact with people in the audience (probably including Cloris Leachman-she was sitting in the row in front of us!!), clapped to make everyone clap along (not that the audience needed help with this), shouted, and generally looked like they were having a great time. Not one step was missed, and they made it look like fun-rather than the intense work it surely is. Coyne glides and bounces between the other dancers like a fawn-quickly, gracefully, and smoothly.

Between the intense performers, the grand music, and the broad historical range of the production, Riverdance is epic in every sense of the word. They begin at what looks like some sort of a paganistic Stonehenge-esque location and end up in approximately 1930s Harlem. Epic and a really fun show! It kept everyone in the audience bouncing and clapping in their seats. My only complaint was a strange scene that involved 5 extremely impressive dancers, but left me feeling very confused.

After intermission the audience is transported to the white-sailed ships of the 19^th century and is serenaded with a beautiful song that touches on themes of inequality. Immediately after this song the Irish folk apparently disembark the boat and find themselves in 1840s tenement New York. For some reason, though, Ashurst and his gang run into some African American tap dancers who, it would seem, are supposed to be from 1930s Harlem. And they proceed to have a dance off. The dancing is more than impressive-it's nearly inhuman! Everyone's lightning-quick footwork and humor was definitely the audience's favorite part of the show. But it sort of changed the number into a scene from Newsies. On the surface it added some lightheartedness to the show, but in reality it touched on heavy racial and economic class themes that, had they been more fully fleshed out, could have been fascinating (barring the lack of historical continuity). Unfortunately, the show just doesn't have enough time to address those very important and interesting issues.

Nevertheless, Dillon's and Riverdance were both really fun. Peter and I are both ecstatic that we were able to go! If you haven't seen the show yet, or honestly even if you have, you're in for a treat!

Dillon's Irish Pub is located at 6263 Hollywood Blvd. in the heart of Hollywood.

The Pantages Theatre is located at 6233 Hollywood Blvd., also in the heart of Hollywood.

Riverdance runs from November 15^th to November 20^th. Remaining shows include: Friday at 8pm, Saturday at 2pm and 8pm, and Sunday at 1pm and 6:30pm.

Get Your Pants Scared Off at the Old Zoo

Trevi — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 18:04:00 GMT

It's a crisp and cloudless October night. A full moon peaks out from behind twisted, leafless tree limbs. Fog creeps around a bend in the road up ahead. We park in a bustling parking lot full of smiling faces, but getting out of my car I hear shrieks amidst the distant roar of a chainsaw. We know we shouldn't, but my boyfriend and I tentatively begin our walk toward the commotion. The fog grows thicker and, as we sneak around the bend, it takes on a curious orange glow. The screams get louder, the chainsaw more threatening. Closer we walk. Dark shadows up ahead slowly materialize. The orange glow becomes brighter, and more lights appear. Suddenly I am aware of faint music. It resembles carnival music, but it's off-key and manic. Closer we walk. The fog begins to clear. The screams are now deafeningly loud, and out of the corner of my eye I see a small group of people, running at full-sprint, from-what's that? The chainsaw gets louder and louder until I realize an escaped convict is chasing after them with a chainsaw! Although he looks much larger than they and full capable of outrunning them, he stops short, shakes the chainsaw at them, and defeated, retreats back into a dark, hillside barn. The shrieks turn into frenzied laughter as the group runs off into the darkness.

I have just entered the grounds of the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride.

It's October, but aside from a brief rainfall last week it doesn't much feel like autumn. Are you not quite in the Halloween spirit yet? A trip to the Haunted Hayride at Griffith Park's Old Zoo will quickly cure what ails you.

The drive leading to the site of the Hayride on Crystal Springs Dr. (from the 5 freeway) iscreepy enough to get you in the mood for a good scare. It's pitch black, and with all of the orange cones, construction equipment, and police tape due to the LADWP improvement project, it looks like zombies have taken over Griffith Park before you even reach the Hayride. Clever street signs that read "Cut Off A Head" almost help calm drivers' nerves, until you remember that you're descending into a canyon full of maniacs, murderers, and freaks.

Said maniacs, murderers and freaks greet you before you even have a chance to buy your tickets. But if you follow the lights blinking on the rooftop, tickets can be purchased at a ticket booth from a perfectly pleasant (and healthy) living human being. After that, though, you're on your own. Your ticket grants you entrance to the Hayride itself, the In-Between (a horrifying maze), and the Human Menagerie Sideshow which includes a hall of mirrors, a haunted merry-go-round, a magic show with Mister Wonder and his beautiful assistant, and a psychic reading with Madame April. Not bad for $35. ($25 if you opt out of the In-Between, but I highly recommend the full ticket. The maze is the scariest (aka most fun!) part of the night!)

I don't want to give anything away, so I won't go into great detail about anything. But the Hayride is awesome. It's definitely more funny and campy than it is scary, but the blending of humor and horror is the beauty of Halloween! I had a headache from laughing and screaming so hard after the second go-round.

A man, fully outfitted in Levis, plaid, and a rancher's hat, drives a tractor which drags behind it a huge hay-blanketed trailer bed. So yes, in case you had any fears, this is a genuine Hayride. (Bring your inhaler!) Riders slowly creep up an incline, through lighted stone gates resembling those at the beginning of the Jurassic Park tour. (As I'm sure you know, anything having to do with Jurassic Park is a good thing.) Immediately the trailer bed is hit with an inordinate amount of fog, which billows out from the gates and encircles the riders. Up ahead we encounter the ghostly visions of the Clifton twins, the daughters of Zoo Keeper Ferdinand Clifton, around whose night terrors the experience is based. They beckon you to come play with them, and-like it or not-off you go, into their demented, childlike dreamworld. What follows is a cast of characters whose sole purpose is to frighten riders of the Haunted Hayride. And they do.

After the Hayride, Mathew and I enjoyed the Human Menagerie Sideshow. Before mounting the spindly white horse skeletons on the carousel (or should I say, Carous-Hell), we watched as a ten-foot tall black scarecrow swayed through the crowd and stopped, ominously watching the ride, before gliding away into the darkness. As Mathew and I whirled backwards on our ghostly equines, a baby, the size of a full-grown man, and looking like he had suffered third-degree burns, wore a skeleton jumpsuit and stood beside the ride. He stuck his tongue out at me and pointed, waiting for us to exit the carousel. When we finally did, he slowly chased us until we reached the Hall of Mirrors. I didn't have much luck escaping to the Hall, as a dead, life-sized doll whose mouth had been stitched together cornered me in the claustrophobic space. She finally let me go, but not before putting her nose to mine, and screaming.

We ran out of there and headed to the entrance to the In-Between-the maze. Handsdown one of the scariest mazes I've ever been in. It's in an old barn they've constructed, and it is pitch black. They give you a light that somehow emits a red glow but offers your eyes no assistance. I don't scare that easily, but when it's that dark and you just know something is around the corner, it's hard not to get goosebumps. We made it through, but just barely.

After recuperating, we walked past the Grub Shack, which sold Children of the Popcorn, Sin' Omen Apple Rings, and the like. It all smelled delicious. Beyond it was Madame April's psychic reading table. I recommend doing this either at the very beginning of the night, at the very end of the night, or at the very least during Mister Wonder's magic show (located right next to the table) so you'll have something to entertain you. The line was not long, but it was very slow-moving. After about 20 minutes, we gave up and decided to go on the Hayride one last time. Worth it!

Conclusion: If you need something to jolt you into the Halloween spirit, the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride is the way to go. It's fun, it's spooky, and there are enough murderous crazies to chase after everyone. And they will! Consider yourself warned.

The Los Angeles Haunted Hayride is located at 4730 Crystal Springs Ave. The event continues Thursdays-Saturdays for the remainder of October. Visit their website for more information.

Dinner and Drinks in Hollywood

Trevi — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 22:10:00 GMT

I've been petsitting my grandparents' dogs in the Valley for a couple weeks now. I normally live about ten minutes away from our office at Crossroads of the World, but since petsitting began, my morning and evening commutes have stretched to about an hour an a half-each! As a result, I normally have to hurry home every day after work to get back to the house and give the dogs their dinners. Last night, though, my boyfriend, who has been very busy himself, was amazing and gave me the night "off!" We had an early dinner at Doomie's, and then he went out to the Valley to feed the dogs so that I could meet up with a girlfriend--who I hadn't seen since she got engaged!--at Café Stella.

Doomie's Home Cookin', in a little strip mall on Fountain and Vine (tucked way back in the corner!), is one of the most incredible vegetarian restaurants I have ever been to. It's all vegetarian, and most menu options are vegan or can be made vegan. I'm vegetarian and Mathew is vegan, so when I found a post on QuarryGirl about it, I knew we had to try it. We picked up sandwiches from them on the way to a Dodgers game this summer and they were amazing. But when the hot food arrived at our table last night, I knew it would be even better.

My grandmother used to whip up the most incredible fried chicken known to man whenever my parents and I visited her in Oklahoma City. Having been a vegetarian for 10 years, it's been a long time since I've tasted that greasy, crispy, fried glory. But I miss it. A LOT. Obviously I ordered the vegan fried chicken without hesitation and I swear I almost cried when it arrived at the table! It came with mashed potatoes (red, with some skin on-my favorite!), corn on the cob, a dinner roll, and a small side of AWESOME coleslaw. The chicken itself was tender and-I know it sounds crazy-incredibly juicy. And the fried bit was totally Colonel-worthy: salt-and-peppery with a hint of sweetness, light, crispy, and just the right amount of greasy. I know it's been a full decade since I've eaten meat, but let me tell you: not even my Oklahoma-born meat-and-potatoes eatin' father would be able to tell the difference between it and real chicken. I was blown away! All of the sides were awesome, except the corn--it was a little overcooked. But I didn't miss it with all the rest of the food we ordered!

Mathew ordered the chicken parmesan sandwich--again, because it was just that good!--and it, of course, did not disappoint. It's big, it's sloppy, it's cheesy (he ordered vegan cheese but they have several real cheese options too)--everything chicken parm should be! Of course he got fries on the side. Before all of this, though, we ordered one of the most amazing menu options for an appetizer: vegan mac n' cheese! It sounds terrible, but this is serious stuff. They make the cheese sauce themselves, from scratch, every day in the kitchen. It's a super secret, super awesome recipe. One of vegan cheese's (many) problems stems from the difficulty it has solidifying. They usually have to add a bunch of stuff to it to make it a "block" capable of being shredded, and all that stuff makes it taste "off." The stuff they put on the mac n' cheese is strictly a sauce, though, so it thankfully doesn't have this problem. And it is AWESOME. I swear it's (almost) better than the real thing! And the noodles are cooked al dente to perfection. It's a definite must-try.

After Doomie's, Mathew went out to the Valley to test his pet allergies and I went off to Café Stella, a little French brasserie in the Sunset Junction. If you've never been here, GO. No vegan food here! But no worries, we were there for a glass of wine.

The restaurant has three spaces: an enclosed seating area and a covered patio, where lunch and dinner are served, and a small bar off to the side of the entrance. The patio stays warm when its cold outside thanks to heat lamps suspended from the ceiling. The water glasses tucked in the French armoire, the terracotta-colored walls, and the specks of greenery also add to the space's warmth. It glistens with candle light and fairy lights strung from the ceiling. We sat at the bar, which has only about 15 seats but a handful of 4-person booths are in the same space. Dinner may be ordered here as well. The bar, backed with an antique mirror, is cluttered (in an elegant, French way) with old, probably found oil paintings and French knick-knacks. It's beautiful and welcoming.

We ordered two glasses of a newly arrived white wine. For the life of me I cannot remember the name of it, but it was delicious. At seven or eight bucks a pop, it happened to be the least expensive white on the by-the-glass menu. A little steep, but it was worth every crisp, refreshing sip. Stella is not an inexpensive place to eat or drink, but it is delicious. The wines (white, red, rose, and sparkling) are all fantastic, and the food is insane (get the artichoke!) I suggest going there for special occasions or, if you really want to impress him/her, a first date. It's festive and gorgeous--in every way!

Doomie's Home Cookin' is located at 1253 N. Vine St. Suite 9 in Hollywood, CA 90038
Café Stella is located at 3932 W. Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles, CA 90029

A Night Out in Hollywood

Trevi — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 21:35:00 GMT

Although I wasn't planning on it, Thursday night turned out to be a night full of Hollywood events!

Nyla Arslanian, the Editor of Discover Hollywood and President of the Hollywood Arts Council, was presented with a check from the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce at a mixer they held at Tekila on Hollywood Blvd. Oscar-Nyla's husband and the Publisher of Discover Hollywood-joined her, as did Shauna-the Hollywood Arts Council Executive Director-and myself. I got a bit sweaty running (almost literally) over there from our office at Crossroads of the World, but even walking just a few blocks in Hollywood blesses your eyes with some truly amusing sights. For example, there was a man outside a bar, wearing sneakers and talking on his phone. It seemed normal, until we realized he was wearing a Nylon skunk costume? Hey, whatever floats your boat!

Anyway, after our impromptu evening jaunt we made it to Tekila and I must say, this little annual party is lovely! I highly recommend that you go next year. We had hardly said hello to a soul before we were greeted with a GIANT tray of chicken empanadas. I'm a vegetarian so as amazing as they smelled, I didn't get to try one. Nyla, on the other hand, tried one and said it was delicious! After a few meet-n-greets with the nice folks of the Chamber, we entered the building. With our two free drink tickets, Shauna and I grabbed a couple of margaritas at the bar. Not only were they delicious, but they were strong-especially considering that they were free. We definitely left the bartenders some generous tips for treating us all so well.

We all schmoozed for about half an hour, and then they started presenting awards for the night. We got our picture taken with our check and Nyla thanked everybody. After finishing up our margaritas and chit-chats, we headed out.

My next stop was the Groundlings theatre on Melrose. I can't believe I've lived in Los Angeles my whole life and I've never been to a show at the Groundlings! ( Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre on Franklin is closer to me, but still!) My boyfriend and some of his fellow UCLA teacher's assistants scored group discount tickets to the Crazy Uncle Joe Show that night, so I met them all there. The Crazy Uncle Joe Show is actually a really incredible long-form improv show-one of L.A.'s longest running!



It starts off with three suggestions from the audience, and the 7 or so comedians come up with stories based off of them. Then-and this is where the real fun begins-they begin to miraculously weave the stories together, which makes for some incredible comedy! They do this for 40 minutes straight-twice! Wow. All ten of us were literally crying with laughter the entire show, it was absolutely brilliant. Grape pickers, butchers, and police officers (the first set of suggestions) are an apparently hilarious combination!

It was nearly ten o'clock and I hadn't eaten dinner yet, so Mathew and I headed down the street to Swingers for some late night snacks with a couple of his friends.



The best word to describe Swingers is: hip. It's super hip. Hip in that it's flooded with hipsters, but also hip in the mid-century meaning of the word. Walking in, you feel as though you've walked onto the set of Pulp Fiction , or, fittingly, Swingers. A bar wraps around the whole front of the room, and giant booths line the windows. It's sort of 1950s and 60s themed, but not overpoweringly so. And the food is awesome. I haven't been there in years and the last time I went I only got a milkshake (although I still remember how delicious it was-chocolate/peanutbutter/banana/soy milk!) This time I was getting a full meal, and my stomach was excited about it!

There are about a millionmenu options, all fairly reasonably priced ($10 to $15 for full entrees, but there's way more than that on the menu) and all delicious. And for three vegetarians and a vegan, plenty of stuff for us to choose from too. One of our friends suggested the veggie sloppy joe, but I had my eyes set on the soyrizo scramble. So glad I went with it.  Two eggs (although tofu is an option) scrambled with soyrizo (veggie chorizo), blackbeans and salsa. I added plenty of hot sauce. It comes with tortillas or, as I ordered, blue corn chips. So amazing! Especially with the side of guacamole I happily globbed on top. It was incredibly satisfying. My only complaint is that I wanted a second one!

After a hearty meal and an hour or two of politics talk, we decided it was time to go home. I went to sleep feeling like I had taken advantage of the city for the first time in a long while! I recommend you go out and do the same. Enjoy!

Tekila is located at 6541 Hollywood Blvd. in Hollywood, CA 90028
The Groundlings is located at 7307 Melrose Ave. in Los Angeles, CA 90046.
Swingers is located at 8020 Beverly Blvd. in Los Angeles, CA 90048